Am I being clear?

This is my question for the ether... Mostly I try to speak plainly and mean what I say, but over and over I find that my words are not taken the way I mean for them to be. In my mind I am a fairly happy-go-lucky person that gets things done without being overbearing.

But lately I feel like i need to reasses this inner vision of myself. Several of my coworkers find me to be a little pushy or even a bully. Can this be true, the guy that just wanted to be everyones friend is a bully in disguise? Many of the things that were taught during my years in school seem to have changed. I alway felt like I was plugged in, and pretty hip to trends. Lately it seems many of the traits that were seen as good leadership skills, are now seen to be pushy in a work situation.

Perhaps I have always had a problem with subtlety, and the world has gotten better at manipulation and petty games. I don't enjoy gossip or meaness at work. I feel that we are already spending too much time in our chosen roles, why mess things up further by having a bad attitude about your co workers. I have never met anyone that was such a bad person that I have felt the need to make him or her look worse behind their back. Usually the grain seperates from the chaff in the end (as someone like my grandfather once said...)

So where am I missing out, why do several people in this organisation talk behind my back, or see me as a thret to them? Some of the issues I understand in retrospect... The person doing fundraising while on probation will always see a new fundraiser in the office as a threat. But as I observed above, that person is gone now, to a less stressful place, and here are the rest of us dealing with the fallout.

This blog is becoming my avenue to put down all of this stuff, and view it later for clarity. Hopefully the readers of these words will find some use in the ramblings of my thoughts. I like my wifes blog as a reader, because she does not tackle the big stuff, but so far gives little vignettes of her day in a short paragraph of two. I aspire to that sort of brevity and high level of communication. If you are curious about my darling and her clear thinking mind check out www.blancodesinki.blogspot.com

Ok away with morose thoughts of everyone disliking me and such things. the chief offender just walked into the building...